Contracted Review

I had a game review ready to go. That is until a recent movie I watched. While viewing it was simply BEGGING to be reviewed. Game review on hold. So let us talk about Contracted.

Meet Samantha. A young, attractive woman who lives with her mother. Grows prize winning Lilies  in her closet. She's also happens to be a lesbian. One night Samantha is invited to a party. (No horror movie is complete without a drunken main character scene), Giving in to peer pressure, Samantha has drink after drink. After many drinks, Samantha plum forgets she is a lesbian and her girlfriend she loves ever so much, for one night. She makes the exciting life choice of having sex with a man. In the back seat of a car no less. Super classy! What follows would make Jason from Friday the 13th super proud. Or Perhaps slightly angry he never thought it first.

She wakes up with a sensitivity to light, ringing in her ears and....how do I word this without being super gross.. Believes she might have started her period. The first two are signs of a good night and a bad hangover. Oh no my friends. This is the start of a downward spiral of epic proportions. The red eye sets in soon after the initial "Oh fuck. I drank too much last night" heaving. This is where you as a viewer (and as long as you didn't read the description of the movie.), might have some clue that something really isn't right. The sores, itching and rashes soon follow. And this is only day one.

The movie covers 3 days of Samantha's decent in to STD hell. It's not just one or two STD's this guy gave her. He gave her ALL of them. So really it's a super STD. Man, this chick just can't catch a break. Her mom thinks she is on drugs. Again. Her girlfriend dumps her. She looses out on a Lily competition. She's loosing whole fingernails in people's salads, (She works in a restaurant  by day). She's not only peeing blood, but mealworms as well (Yeah. I really didn't understand that one either). Her eyes are either bloody or all white. Her doctor is no help at all.

Man. What is a girl up shit creek without a paddle to do? By day 3 I think a voice in her head said "fuck it, and fuck everyone else.". She kills her girlfriend because the girlfriend "broke her heart." Kills the gal who told Samantha's girlfriend that she had been with a man. Sleeps with a different guy who has been lusting after her the whole movie. Gets in to a bad car wreak and dies. Kind of. The last 2-3 minutes of the movie suddenly turns in to a zombie movie. Samantha kills her mom and then the movie just ends. No doubt making way for Contracted 2. God forbid.

This is a movie worth seeing once. That is about it. It's an interesting premise. I like the idea of super STD's, if only because the idea of STD's hasn't really been explored in the horror genre. With that being said, I expected a horror movie about STD's to be a lot more disgusting. It had moments where it was mildly disturbing, but nothing more.  The gore make-up job on Samantha was pretty damn impressive though. As was her zombie make-up later on. So there is a positive.

Why were there mealworms dropping from her crotch you ask? Your guess is as good as mine. The only thing I can think of is the dude Sam slept with did screw a corpse before sleeping with Sam. Maybe it's decay from the inside out. Who the hell knows.

The acting was typical B movie acting. If your expecting to sympathize with Samantha or anyone else in this movie,  believe me when I say you aren't. No one is an award winning actor here. Lines felt forced at best.

One thing that REALLLY bugged me was her eyes. One scene they would both be red as red could be. A scene later Sam's right eye would be all white. This happened sporadically throughout the movie. It was very distracting. I guess I'm not up to date on STD's at all, but is there a VD that makes your eyes go from red to white, back to red again? .  

Let us talk about the last few minutes of the movie. Now, if they had quickly gone through Samantha's symptoms and went straight for the STD riddled zombie flick by day 2, that would make for one awesome movie. As poorly acted as this movie was, it still would have been awesome. But to save it for the last 2-3 minutes of the movie is just a lame attempt at setting up for a part 2. Given how anti-climactic this movie was, no one will want to see.

As I said before. Watch it once and promptly forget about it. The movie had a lot of potential, but really just fell flat.

I give this a 5/10